[ she's so cute... malkuth's ears flick, catching every word, and she thinks to wait before shaking her head. better that she knows. ]
I think you're cool for showing your emotions though, Ereshkigal. It means you're brave.
[ because most won't. when ereshkigal enters there's... notable lack to her walls-- the way that someone can tell that something might've been there and was put away, and because malkuth seems like the kind of person to have more clutter in her room from all her busywork. yet it's remarkably tidy, from desk to door, and the deer girl herself does look well enough as she sits up.
her horns are a woodier texture than they had been before, but that's probably okay. ]
S-She heard it all?! S-She thought she wouldn't hear a thing! That's an absolute disaster. She very slowly opens the door and steps in. There's no avoiding it, is there. ]
[ Yes, perfect avoidance of the topic! Ereshkigal has a book in her hands as she steps in - she carefully closes the door behind her and gives a quick look around. That's... A surprisingly empty room, and clean too. She would have figured Malkuth would be drowning in a pile of books she's been reading. Maybe the book was a bad idea? ]
[ you'd think, wouldn't you... no, she's just been doomscrolling and talking to friends... ]
Better now that you're here. Come and sit! Or-- no, come lay down with me, I'll make room.
[ scooting over!!! it is really nice to have company... yesod and sariel are obvious sources of comfort, but people from the outside bring her just as much joy. maybe she really has been too wrapped up in her head. ]
[ Today is truly a wild ride of unexpected emotions, because no sooner does the goddess finally find peace: ]
L-L-Lay down... With you...?
[ ????????????????????????????????????
W-What in the actual Kûr?! Is she misreading the situation? No, there's no way. There is only one possible reason why two people would lay down together in the same bed, right? She supposes warmth could be a reason in times of dire cold, but this isn't the case! ]
H-How shameful...! [Her voice is shaky, Ereshkigal's sanity is barely holding onto a thin thread.] Whilst the indomitable h-human spirit and your neverending struggle for the in-impossible ought to be commanded... [She points a very shaky accusatory finger at her.] Malkuth! W-What devious and twisted thoughts hid beneath your facade?!
[ "You can lay with someone without it being anything shameful."
Now she's had to accept her preconceptions on romances being wrong quite a few times, but this one is a bridge too far! There is no way laying with someone can be anything but romantic, doing it with a friend is absolutely and unambiguously shameful! ]
I-I will sit down. [And she does. Carefully.] And if you were Takasugi I would have put you in a cage for such a suggestion.
[ F-Finally things are starting to get normal! They'll stay that way, hopefully. ]
Well, I cannot step foot in Kelesis any more without being targeted by all sorts of psychic attacks... But I didn't plan on spending time in Kelesis anyway.
[ And with how bad it is, she's probably never going back there. But that won't deter her from finding a way to free all the souls.
She hands the book over to Malkuth. It's a mystery book about a series of murder in a library. The culprit ends up being an AI. Very weird stuff. But rather than comment on the book: ]
... You know, I have many divine authorities besides death. I'm the patron goddess of deers, for example. [She smiles, a bit sadly.] You're going to have a hard time hiding it from me when you don't do well.
[ her ears lift in surprise, then flatten as she sets the book in her lap. while it's one thing not to follow religion or believe necessarily in the divine because it doesn't seem to exist (in a fashion) in her own world... ereshkigal is very much real and a figure of her own, so it's easier to accept it as fact. ]
I didn't know goddesses wore so many hats... I guess I really can't hide anything from you at all then, huh?
[ it doesn't seem to bother her at least. a whole patron for her soul... does that mean she's always being looked out for? ]
It's just... habit to say I'm fine when I'm not. Nothing against anyone.
I'm the same. [A pause.] Well, I'm not as good as you when it comes to hiding my feelings...
[ She's lacking in experience talking with. Well, just about anyone. Whereas Malkuth seems to be something of a social butterfly! And yet... She's clearly not as she presents.
[ ah... it's so hard not to bend to ereshkigal, especially right now, and after a moment of hesitation malkuth turns her head to the side, sighing. ]
I don't know where to start. The guy I liked swam deep into the sea and never came back, I took too much on and didn't realize how much it was crushing me, my soul's determined that there's no safe place here because of how many Carivora souls there are... Pick a topic, I guess.
[ she kind of feels like she misstepped in who she's texted because they all care about her back and want to talk,
... T-That's a lot, if she says so herself. Maybe she should go with the thing they really have in common: taking on too much and letting it crush you. ]
I-I used to do the same, so now I only take on 80% of what I can take. [A pause.] By working at 80% of my maximum efficiency at all times, I can work a lot longer before exhaustion settles in and I have spare energy left should an emergency arise.
[ ... Who is she kidding, there's one thing in particular she absolutely is curious about. ]
No, he was an octopus, so I'm sure he's doing quite well underwater. [ a beat. ] Did you know? Our souls can become detached from our bodies here, and if that happens the one implanted via the Augmenter takes over. We Shift completely and can't return to our original state -- so Patho-Gen retrieves us for safety reasons.
[ but it's nicer, isn't it. to say and think he just decided to live under the sea. abandoning everyone without a word (he wouldn't do that) and watching from a distance (he would do that, she thinks), so close and just out of reach (as the people she likes always are). ]
H-How is it that Malkuth consistently finds ways to take discussions in completely unexpected and awkward directions? She hadn't even realized it was a possibility for Natural Souls! They're probably pretty rare. ]
[ But also she's dealt with someone who permanently shifted and tried getting them back to normal, in vain... So she knows exactly what Malkuth is talking about. And the extent of her denial is perhaps the most worrying thing here. ]
Malkuth... [It's nicer, perhaps. But it's a gaping wound she leaves open, out of fear of the pain. Yet just telling her that wouldn't help either. No, it's like with the souls she takes care of. Even if she tries to help, they are the ones who must find peace themselves.
... So what can she say? It's not like she can help her the way she does with her souls.] It... It's okay not to smile, you know? To be sad, to cry.
I don't want to worry the people who care about me, Ereshkigal. And I...
[ she hesitates a moment, playing with the edge of the book in hand. ]
I'm supposed to be responsible and dependable, someone that doesn't falter and that 3kon can always rely on. How can I be that if they see me like this? [ ... ] I mean, that image got shattered when I ran away into the woods, but I'd hate if they held back because they don't think I can handle as much as I say I can.
[ because she can! it's just
that
sometimes it takes one little thing to bring the whole stack down, and maybe that means she can't handle it all herself, but it's fine until that point so isn't that okay? ]
Isn't it kinda pathetic to cry over a guy you knew for about half a year?
Pathetic? [She shakes her head.] You could love someone for a day and cry an entire year over losing them.
[ With that said, Ereshkigal takes Malkuth's hand with her own. ]
Responsible and dependable doesn't mean invulnerable. Honestly... I think they would be happy for you to rely on them, too. [A pause.] Humans are creatures who rely on each other. If you keep trying to be an exception... You'll hurt yourself and those you care about.
[ it's funny how everyone shares the same thought, but the words they use are different. malkuth would tell others the same thing -- she has, scolding takasugi more than once about it -- but it's always harder to see that you're having the same problem you chide others over. her cheeks are warm regardless, staring hard at their clasped hands as her ears lay flat. ]
... Love's too strong a word, Ereshkigal...
[ even if that's what it is, no different than what she felt towards ayin. the persistent ache of her chest confirms so. ]
I know, I just... want to be everything I can for them. They're practically my brothers.
[ Love is a strong word indeed, but certainly not inappropriate she thinks. Still, she doesn't want to embarrass Malkuth. If it was her, she would absolutely die on the inside at someone trying to insist! ]
Then allow them to treat you as a sister. [A pause.] It's not really fair if only you get to treat them as siblings, is it? After all... The one who always cares for others also needs to be cared for.
[ but it's in good humor, turning her head to smile in resignment at her friend. yeah, yeah. she knows. it's hard to accept that it also includes her, but she knows. ]
That goes across the board with my other issues, too... I'll give it a shot. I grew up an only child, so I'm not really used to having a-- a family like that anyway, so I guess the first step's letting them know how I feel. [ a short laugh. ] They always get so awkward when it's sentimental hour, though~.
I suppose I was an "only child" too, I only learned of my sister's existence thousands of years after I came into being. [Though it's not a very accurate comparison. It's not like she "grew" or had parents to help her.] And... My greatest remorse is what happened between us.
[ Ereshkigal tilts her head down. She's not elaborating on that, it's too painful of a topic. And it doesn't matter. She's succeeded in helping Malkuth! Probably. That's what matters. ]
If you let them know you love them, let them know you need them as much as they need you... Everything will be fine I'm sure.
[ while she's curious... she won't press, at least not about the regret. malkuth might ask her about her sister in general sometime though -- it's interesting to consider the divine having family too.
for now... malkuth turns her hand to squeeze her friend's, smile easing. ]
Thanks, Ereshkigal. I'm really glad you came over.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queenofkur) wrote2025-10-01 11:40 am
no subject
I think you're cool for showing your emotions though, Ereshkigal. It means you're brave.
[ because most won't. when ereshkigal enters there's... notable lack to her walls-- the way that someone can tell that something might've been there and was put away, and because malkuth seems like the kind of person to have more clutter in her room from all her busywork. yet it's remarkably tidy, from desk to door, and the deer girl herself does look well enough as she sits up.
her horns are a woodier texture than they had been before, but that's probably okay. ]
1/2
S-She heard it all?! S-She thought she wouldn't hear a thing! That's an absolute disaster. She very slowly opens the door and steps in. There's no avoiding it, is there. ]
no subject
[ Yes, perfect avoidance of the topic! Ereshkigal has a book in her hands as she steps in - she carefully closes the door behind her and gives a quick look around. That's... A surprisingly empty room, and clean too. She would have figured Malkuth would be drowning in a pile of books she's been reading. Maybe the book was a bad idea? ]
no subject
Better now that you're here. Come and sit! Or-- no, come lay down with me, I'll make room.
[ scooting over!!! it is really nice to have company... yesod and sariel are obvious sources of comfort, but people from the outside bring her just as much joy. maybe she really has been too wrapped up in her head. ]
no subject
L-L-Lay down... With you...?
[ ????????????????????????????????????
W-What in the actual Kûr?! Is she misreading the situation? No, there's no way. There is only one possible reason why two people would lay down together in the same bed, right? She supposes warmth could be a reason in times of dire cold, but this isn't the case! ]
H-How shameful...! [Her voice is shaky, Ereshkigal's sanity is barely holding onto a thin thread.] Whilst the indomitable h-human spirit and your neverending struggle for the in-impossible ought to be commanded... [She points a very shaky accusatory finger at her.] Malkuth! W-What devious and twisted thoughts hid beneath your facade?!
no subject
Please, I'm not Takasugi. [ sorry boss ] You can lay with someone without it being anything "shameful". We're friends, right?
no subject
Now she's had to accept her preconceptions on romances being wrong quite a few times, but this one is a bridge too far! There is no way laying with someone can be anything but romantic, doing it with a friend is absolutely and unambiguously shameful! ]
I-I will sit down. [And she does. Carefully.] And if you were Takasugi I would have put you in a cage for such a suggestion.
no subject
[ despite that, she is fond. anyway. holding her hands out for the book...! ]
You do look better than the last time we met, Ereshkigal! Even though I know I look worse. No one gave you a hard time for all of that, did they?
no subject
Well, I cannot step foot in Kelesis any more without being targeted by all sorts of psychic attacks... But I didn't plan on spending time in Kelesis anyway.
[ And with how bad it is, she's probably never going back there. But that won't deter her from finding a way to free all the souls.
She hands the book over to Malkuth. It's a mystery book about a series of murder in a library. The culprit ends up being an AI. Very weird stuff. But rather than comment on the book: ]
... You know, I have many divine authorities besides death. I'm the patron goddess of deers, for example. [She smiles, a bit sadly.] You're going to have a hard time hiding it from me when you don't do well.
no subject
I didn't know goddesses wore so many hats... I guess I really can't hide anything from you at all then, huh?
[ it doesn't seem to bother her at least. a whole patron for her soul... does that mean she's always being looked out for? ]
It's just... habit to say I'm fine when I'm not. Nothing against anyone.
no subject
[ She's lacking in experience talking with. Well, just about anyone. Whereas Malkuth seems to be something of a social butterfly! And yet... She's clearly not as she presents.
She takes her hand and speaks gently. ]
Is there anything you want to talk about?
no subject
I don't know where to start. The guy I liked swam deep into the sea and never came back, I took too much on and didn't realize how much it was crushing me, my soul's determined that there's no safe place here because of how many Carivora souls there are... Pick a topic, I guess.
[ she kind of feels like she misstepped in who she's texted because they all care about her back and want to talk,
it's really nice. ]
no subject
... T-That's a lot, if she says so herself. Maybe she should go with the thing they really have in common: taking on too much and letting it crush you. ]
I-I used to do the same, so now I only take on 80% of what I can take. [A pause.] By working at 80% of my maximum efficiency at all times, I can work a lot longer before exhaustion settles in and I have spare energy left should an emergency arise.
[ ... Who is she kidding, there's one thing in particular she absolutely is curious about. ]
H-He drowned...?
no subject
No, he was an octopus, so I'm sure he's doing quite well underwater. [ a beat. ] Did you know? Our souls can become detached from our bodies here, and if that happens the one implanted via the Augmenter takes over. We Shift completely and can't return to our original state -- so Patho-Gen retrieves us for safety reasons.
[ but it's nicer, isn't it. to say and think he just decided to live under the sea. abandoning everyone without a word (he wouldn't do that) and watching from a distance (he would do that, she thinks), so close and just out of reach (as the people she likes always are). ]
1/2
"No, he was an octopus."
H-How is it that Malkuth consistently finds ways to take discussions in completely unexpected and awkward directions? She hadn't even realized it was a possibility for Natural Souls! They're probably pretty rare. ]
no subject
Malkuth... [It's nicer, perhaps. But it's a gaping wound she leaves open, out of fear of the pain. Yet just telling her that wouldn't help either. No, it's like with the souls she takes care of. Even if she tries to help, they are the ones who must find peace themselves.
... So what can she say? It's not like she can help her the way she does with her souls.] It... It's okay not to smile, you know? To be sad, to cry.
no subject
[ she hesitates a moment, playing with the edge of the book in hand. ]
I'm supposed to be responsible and dependable, someone that doesn't falter and that 3kon can always rely on. How can I be that if they see me like this? [ ... ] I mean, that image got shattered when I ran away into the woods, but I'd hate if they held back because they don't think I can handle as much as I say I can.
[ because she can! it's just
that
sometimes it takes one little thing to bring the whole stack down, and maybe that means she can't handle it all herself, but it's fine until that point so isn't that okay? ]
Isn't it kinda pathetic to cry over a guy you knew for about half a year?
no subject
[ With that said, Ereshkigal takes Malkuth's hand with her own. ]
Responsible and dependable doesn't mean invulnerable. Honestly... I think they would be happy for you to rely on them, too. [A pause.] Humans are creatures who rely on each other. If you keep trying to be an exception... You'll hurt yourself and those you care about.
no subject
... Love's too strong a word, Ereshkigal...
[ even if that's what it is, no different than what she felt towards ayin. the persistent ache of her chest confirms so. ]
I know, I just... want to be everything I can for them. They're practically my brothers.
no subject
[ Love is a strong word indeed, but certainly not inappropriate she thinks. Still, she doesn't want to embarrass Malkuth. If it was her, she would absolutely die on the inside at someone trying to insist! ]
Then allow them to treat you as a sister. [A pause.] It's not really fair if only you get to treat them as siblings, is it? After all... The one who always cares for others also needs to be cared for.
no subject
[ but it's in good humor, turning her head to smile in resignment at her friend. yeah, yeah. she knows. it's hard to accept that it also includes her, but she knows. ]
That goes across the board with my other issues, too... I'll give it a shot. I grew up an only child, so I'm not really used to having a-- a family like that anyway, so I guess the first step's letting them know how I feel. [ a short laugh. ] They always get so awkward when it's sentimental hour, though~.
no subject
[ Ereshkigal tilts her head down. She's not elaborating on that, it's too painful of a topic. And it doesn't matter. She's succeeded in helping Malkuth! Probably. That's what matters. ]
If you let them know you love them, let them know you need them as much as they need you... Everything will be fine I'm sure.
no subject
for now... malkuth turns her hand to squeeze her friend's, smile easing. ]
Thanks, Ereshkigal. I'm really glad you came over.