... T-That's a lot, if she says so herself. Maybe she should go with the thing they really have in common: taking on too much and letting it crush you. ]
I-I used to do the same, so now I only take on 80% of what I can take. [A pause.] By working at 80% of my maximum efficiency at all times, I can work a lot longer before exhaustion settles in and I have spare energy left should an emergency arise.
[ ... Who is she kidding, there's one thing in particular she absolutely is curious about. ]
No, he was an octopus, so I'm sure he's doing quite well underwater. [ a beat. ] Did you know? Our souls can become detached from our bodies here, and if that happens the one implanted via the Augmenter takes over. We Shift completely and can't return to our original state -- so Patho-Gen retrieves us for safety reasons.
[ but it's nicer, isn't it. to say and think he just decided to live under the sea. abandoning everyone without a word (he wouldn't do that) and watching from a distance (he would do that, she thinks), so close and just out of reach (as the people she likes always are). ]
H-How is it that Malkuth consistently finds ways to take discussions in completely unexpected and awkward directions? She hadn't even realized it was a possibility for Natural Souls! They're probably pretty rare. ]
[ But also she's dealt with someone who permanently shifted and tried getting them back to normal, in vain... So she knows exactly what Malkuth is talking about. And the extent of her denial is perhaps the most worrying thing here. ]
Malkuth... [It's nicer, perhaps. But it's a gaping wound she leaves open, out of fear of the pain. Yet just telling her that wouldn't help either. No, it's like with the souls she takes care of. Even if she tries to help, they are the ones who must find peace themselves.
... So what can she say? It's not like she can help her the way she does with her souls.] It... It's okay not to smile, you know? To be sad, to cry.
I don't want to worry the people who care about me, Ereshkigal. And I...
[ she hesitates a moment, playing with the edge of the book in hand. ]
I'm supposed to be responsible and dependable, someone that doesn't falter and that 3kon can always rely on. How can I be that if they see me like this? [ ... ] I mean, that image got shattered when I ran away into the woods, but I'd hate if they held back because they don't think I can handle as much as I say I can.
[ because she can! it's just
that
sometimes it takes one little thing to bring the whole stack down, and maybe that means she can't handle it all herself, but it's fine until that point so isn't that okay? ]
Isn't it kinda pathetic to cry over a guy you knew for about half a year?
Pathetic? [She shakes her head.] You could love someone for a day and cry an entire year over losing them.
[ With that said, Ereshkigal takes Malkuth's hand with her own. ]
Responsible and dependable doesn't mean invulnerable. Honestly... I think they would be happy for you to rely on them, too. [A pause.] Humans are creatures who rely on each other. If you keep trying to be an exception... You'll hurt yourself and those you care about.
[ it's funny how everyone shares the same thought, but the words they use are different. malkuth would tell others the same thing -- she has, scolding takasugi more than once about it -- but it's always harder to see that you're having the same problem you chide others over. her cheeks are warm regardless, staring hard at their clasped hands as her ears lay flat. ]
... Love's too strong a word, Ereshkigal...
[ even if that's what it is, no different than what she felt towards ayin. the persistent ache of her chest confirms so. ]
I know, I just... want to be everything I can for them. They're practically my brothers.
[ Love is a strong word indeed, but certainly not inappropriate she thinks. Still, she doesn't want to embarrass Malkuth. If it was her, she would absolutely die on the inside at someone trying to insist! ]
Then allow them to treat you as a sister. [A pause.] It's not really fair if only you get to treat them as siblings, is it? After all... The one who always cares for others also needs to be cared for.
[ but it's in good humor, turning her head to smile in resignment at her friend. yeah, yeah. she knows. it's hard to accept that it also includes her, but she knows. ]
That goes across the board with my other issues, too... I'll give it a shot. I grew up an only child, so I'm not really used to having a-- a family like that anyway, so I guess the first step's letting them know how I feel. [ a short laugh. ] They always get so awkward when it's sentimental hour, though~.
I suppose I was an "only child" too, I only learned of my sister's existence thousands of years after I came into being. [Though it's not a very accurate comparison. It's not like she "grew" or had parents to help her.] And... My greatest remorse is what happened between us.
[ Ereshkigal tilts her head down. She's not elaborating on that, it's too painful of a topic. And it doesn't matter. She's succeeded in helping Malkuth! Probably. That's what matters. ]
If you let them know you love them, let them know you need them as much as they need you... Everything will be fine I'm sure.
[ while she's curious... she won't press, at least not about the regret. malkuth might ask her about her sister in general sometime though -- it's interesting to consider the divine having family too.
for now... malkuth turns her hand to squeeze her friend's, smile easing. ]
Thanks, Ereshkigal. I'm really glad you came over.
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queenofkur) wrote2025-10-01 11:40 am
no subject
... T-That's a lot, if she says so herself. Maybe she should go with the thing they really have in common: taking on too much and letting it crush you. ]
I-I used to do the same, so now I only take on 80% of what I can take. [A pause.] By working at 80% of my maximum efficiency at all times, I can work a lot longer before exhaustion settles in and I have spare energy left should an emergency arise.
[ ... Who is she kidding, there's one thing in particular she absolutely is curious about. ]
H-He drowned...?
no subject
No, he was an octopus, so I'm sure he's doing quite well underwater. [ a beat. ] Did you know? Our souls can become detached from our bodies here, and if that happens the one implanted via the Augmenter takes over. We Shift completely and can't return to our original state -- so Patho-Gen retrieves us for safety reasons.
[ but it's nicer, isn't it. to say and think he just decided to live under the sea. abandoning everyone without a word (he wouldn't do that) and watching from a distance (he would do that, she thinks), so close and just out of reach (as the people she likes always are). ]
1/2
"No, he was an octopus."
H-How is it that Malkuth consistently finds ways to take discussions in completely unexpected and awkward directions? She hadn't even realized it was a possibility for Natural Souls! They're probably pretty rare. ]
no subject
Malkuth... [It's nicer, perhaps. But it's a gaping wound she leaves open, out of fear of the pain. Yet just telling her that wouldn't help either. No, it's like with the souls she takes care of. Even if she tries to help, they are the ones who must find peace themselves.
... So what can she say? It's not like she can help her the way she does with her souls.] It... It's okay not to smile, you know? To be sad, to cry.
no subject
[ she hesitates a moment, playing with the edge of the book in hand. ]
I'm supposed to be responsible and dependable, someone that doesn't falter and that 3kon can always rely on. How can I be that if they see me like this? [ ... ] I mean, that image got shattered when I ran away into the woods, but I'd hate if they held back because they don't think I can handle as much as I say I can.
[ because she can! it's just
that
sometimes it takes one little thing to bring the whole stack down, and maybe that means she can't handle it all herself, but it's fine until that point so isn't that okay? ]
Isn't it kinda pathetic to cry over a guy you knew for about half a year?
no subject
[ With that said, Ereshkigal takes Malkuth's hand with her own. ]
Responsible and dependable doesn't mean invulnerable. Honestly... I think they would be happy for you to rely on them, too. [A pause.] Humans are creatures who rely on each other. If you keep trying to be an exception... You'll hurt yourself and those you care about.
no subject
... Love's too strong a word, Ereshkigal...
[ even if that's what it is, no different than what she felt towards ayin. the persistent ache of her chest confirms so. ]
I know, I just... want to be everything I can for them. They're practically my brothers.
no subject
[ Love is a strong word indeed, but certainly not inappropriate she thinks. Still, she doesn't want to embarrass Malkuth. If it was her, she would absolutely die on the inside at someone trying to insist! ]
Then allow them to treat you as a sister. [A pause.] It's not really fair if only you get to treat them as siblings, is it? After all... The one who always cares for others also needs to be cared for.
no subject
[ but it's in good humor, turning her head to smile in resignment at her friend. yeah, yeah. she knows. it's hard to accept that it also includes her, but she knows. ]
That goes across the board with my other issues, too... I'll give it a shot. I grew up an only child, so I'm not really used to having a-- a family like that anyway, so I guess the first step's letting them know how I feel. [ a short laugh. ] They always get so awkward when it's sentimental hour, though~.
no subject
[ Ereshkigal tilts her head down. She's not elaborating on that, it's too painful of a topic. And it doesn't matter. She's succeeded in helping Malkuth! Probably. That's what matters. ]
If you let them know you love them, let them know you need them as much as they need you... Everything will be fine I'm sure.
no subject
for now... malkuth turns her hand to squeeze her friend's, smile easing. ]
Thanks, Ereshkigal. I'm really glad you came over.