I believe you will grow eventually. I know I did, and us Cybertronians are notoriously slow learners. We had a war that lasted for over four million years.
[Not even he knows why the war lasted as long as it did. After a certain point, nobody really cared what or why they were fighting other than eradicating the other side. But, this should give her an idea of what sins are weighing him down, what he wasted most of his lifetime on.
He turns to meet her eyes.]
For the longest time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Believed that what we were doing was heroic, but... There's no such things as heroic or heroes in a war.
[ It's a lesson most never learn, even after fighting in a war, and apparently he's already learned it! Like he said, his kind is slow learner too... And that makes it even more amazing in her opinion. ]
It affects all long-lived beings. [A pause.] Dreams, ideals, beliefs, desires and hopes... They all erode and change with the passage of time, no matter how carefully we try preserving them. And because we change so slowly, we fail to see and stop it as we become shadows of who we used to be.
[ It may have happened to her to an extent, given the tone used. ]
What matters is that you did come to this realization eventually and changed your ways. Honestly, it's amazing you did. You're at least eighty time the age of my conscious self. I don't think I would be able to change even a bit at that age.
[They all erode and change with the passage of time... Ain't that the truth. It doesn't apply to him, but many, many others who fought in the war. And from what he's observed, not all of them has reached the same epiphany he had, came to the same realization, or was tired of war as he is.]
I have done a lot of regrettable things in my life. Most would consider some of my actions unforgivable, despite telling myself I'm doing the right thing. At the end of the day, we are our actions, not our hope. Thanks to my realization, I vowed to return to my original roots as a pacifist and right my wrongs, even in this world.
[Even when he's in an entirely different world, where no one knows of his reputation and hasn't done any wrongs, it doesn't mean he should stop trying to do good deeds. He's returned to his old roots. Or, he feels he's on the right path to it at least.]
Better late than never, right? That's a human saying, I think. And... I believe there will come a time where you won't feel too bad accepting your human mindset. Whether gods, humans, or mechanoids, we all have the capacity to grow.
[It feels nice, like some weigh has lifted off his shoulders. Perhaps there is some merit to talking about his feelings rather than bottling them all up. Of course, there's still some topics he isn't willing to broach on yet, mainly about his powers, which is another can of worm, but it has no relevance in this current topic.]
[ She can tell it's weighing heavily on him. And while the weight may be lessened from having shared this... She figures she can help by showing him he's not alone. ]
Well... I tried killing all humans once. [A pause.] Goetia - an Evil of Humanity - was trying to incinerate humanity across space and time. In the past, future and present all at once.
[ That's the super summarized version, she'll spare him the Fate/ details. ]
My reasoning was that if I killed them first and kept their souls in the Underworld, then I would be able to preserve humanity...
[ Not the best plan. She'll skip over the fact that she was by all account very bad at killing humans and had the lowest kill count out of the three goddesses, in spite of trying the hardest. I-It's a point of pride not to mention this! ]
[Brows raised and curved, and his eyes widen slightly at her. The surprised expression on his face speaks for itself. It sounds like she's regretted her attempt, though, so she doesn't need him to tell her how dumb that plan was. He can't quite grasp her reasoning for preserving humanity that way, but perhaps he doesn't fully understand a goddess's mindset.
Regardless, they both have committed a grave sin. Though he thinks his kill count is probably higher than hers, on account of the war having spread out across the galaxy, dragging unwitting worlds into their conflict. Ultimately, he sees he's not alone in having a regrettable past.]
I'll... try not to.
[A pause, as his gaze falls to the floor. It's a bit embarrassing to do this, but he steps closer to her side and puts his arms around her for a nice side hug, initiating imprinting, as a show of appreciation. And the side hug is mostly because he doesn't want to sandwich lil Bruiser between them.]
She's taken aback for a couple seconds or so! This goddess is a hug monster in denial who would love hugs very much if only she didn't deny herself hugging her friends... A-And that's exactly why this comes off as such a shock! She figured Soundwave would have an even harder time than her to go and hug people like that! She did hug him once or twice after all, and both times he was so surprised!
Oh well! It's time to indulge ever so slightly into her hug monster side. And so she hugs him back, turning the side hug into a full blown hug. But fear not for the little doggo, she is careful to put him safely down on the couch so that he doesn't get hurt. ]
Ehehe, no need to thank me!
[ Is she sparkling? She is sparkling. So she is probably pretty happy. ]
[Ereshkigal's sparkling... That is enough to tell him that she's happy. He's... happy, too. His cheeks burn with a healthy red flush. For once, he steps out of his comfort zone when he initiates the hug, but it's clear he's still awkward, especially when she turns it into a full-blown hug!
Which he'll admit to.... After a good long moment of hugging, of course. He breaks the embrace, though keeping his hands on her arms, trying to maintain his usual stoic expression despite the red on his face.]
I am not... Used to giving hugs. More used to petting my friend's head. [He shrugs.] But I suppose that might be odd if I had done that to you instead.
[ Ehehe! She's sure he'll become a great hugger in due time. He's already pretty good, if she says so herself! ]
Petting your friend's head...? [That sounds like something you do to, well, a pet! A lover, perhaps. But not a friend. Though in this world, they do many weird thing.] I'm not used to it either honestly... But I'm slowly getting there!
[ She'll be the greatest hug monster to have ever hugged in due time! ]
[With the rate of hugs he's getting in just half a year in this place, he may very well be on his way of becoming a great hugger!]
Ah, my friends have animal bodies as their main mode rather than a humanoid body like mine. And I am much larger than they are. [In some cases, hugs are a little less convenient than head pats!] They are still people, though.
[A point he likes to emphasize whenever the topic comes up.]
Not used to it? You could've fooled me. From the times you hugged me before, I figured you already are a big hugger.
[ Mhm. Now she's picturing those robotic dogs they sell for children. ]
I see... I suppose that would make sense then. [A nod.] That's like with Dumuzid. Well, he does have a human form, but he goes around as a golden sheep most often.
[ Why does Dumuzid come back so often in their conversations?
Better move away from this sheep! So of course she finds herself blushing a bit as he praises her. She finally lets go of the hug and takes the doggie back on her lap. ]
Heh? W-Well... I guess that's because I've thousand of years of hugs to give back! I-I need to compensate by making my hugs the best ones.
I see. [A golden sheep... That's a cute image.] My friends had taken form as cassette tapes. Though at least two had recently taken the form of motorcycles as their alternate mode.
[It probably makes more sense once she gets to see them in person. Alas, that is impossible to do in this world.]
And I can say for certain all the hugs you've given have been the greatest... Even if you had surprised me with them in the past.
[Though from now on, he'd probably be a little less surprised, unless Ereshkigal randomly does surprise bear hugs. The doggie is happy to be back in the goddess's arms, snuggling up to her, tail wagging. The kitty that has been hiding this whole time has made her reappearance, leaving her hiding spot as she cautiously approaches Ereshkigal. The shy creature sniffs around her ankles for a few seconds before rubbing herself against her leg. It seems she's accepted his friend!
All that aside--]
Again, thank you, Ereshkigal. For listening. And the hug. I feel... better talking about that. [Is this something he'd do often now? Probably not, but the option to confide in a friend is there.] If you have something you wish to talk about but you do not know who to talk to, I will be available to listen to you. I can't promise if I can provide solutions, but I'll listen.
[ ... ... ... ... S-She's not going to mention she has no idea what a "cassette" is, she gets the feeling that would be super awkward if she did! She's such an old goddess, and cassettes are out of mode in the era she was summoned in.
No, instead she reaches out for the kitty that's rubbing against her leg, trying to pull her closer. ]
Come here, you. [And then to Soundwave.] Ehe, I shall!
[ Though... Not today, probably. ]
But I didn't come to talk about myself today. [She shakes her head.] Besides, I wouldn't know where to begin... [There is so much she could talk about!] No, I'm much happier petting your new pets.
[ Which she is doing! Having two hands is very convenient. ]
[Eh, he gets it. When he returned to Earth years ago, cassettes were already outdated. It was why they needed to update their alt modes to fit in with the modern Earth era. Thanks Primus, for that! He did not like being stuck as a cassette recorder for more than two decades!]
You're right. [He doesn't expect her to dump something on him today, but the offer's there, should she need it in the future.] Ah, but I ended up speaking about myself... When I originally wanted to introduce you to my pets.
[That was why he invited her to his home, after all. The tiny kitty sees Ereshkigal reaching for her and bravely stands on her hind legs in response, tiny paws reaching for her hands, only to clumsily flop over. Meanwhile, Soundwave watches the adorable scene in front of him.]
But I see that Bruiser and Razorclaw have already taken a liking to you.
[ She's actually quite happy he confided in her. I-It is quite the novel thing! And she likes talking with her friend, even if she's still pretty bad at that whole "being social" thingie.
She looks down at the pet and nod in a most satisfied manner. ]
Fufufu, they recognize a perfect goddess when they see one!
no subject
[Not even he knows why the war lasted as long as it did. After a certain point, nobody really cared what or why they were fighting other than eradicating the other side. But, this should give her an idea of what sins are weighing him down, what he wasted most of his lifetime on.
He turns to meet her eyes.]
For the longest time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Believed that what we were doing was heroic, but... There's no such things as heroic or heroes in a war.
no subject
[ It's a lesson most never learn, even after fighting in a war, and apparently he's already learned it! Like he said, his kind is slow learner too... And that makes it even more amazing in her opinion. ]
It affects all long-lived beings. [A pause.] Dreams, ideals, beliefs, desires and hopes... They all erode and change with the passage of time, no matter how carefully we try preserving them. And because we change so slowly, we fail to see and stop it as we become shadows of who we used to be.
[ It may have happened to her to an extent, given the tone used. ]
What matters is that you did come to this realization eventually and changed your ways. Honestly, it's amazing you did. You're at least eighty time the age of my conscious self. I don't think I would be able to change even a bit at that age.
u saw nothing
I have done a lot of regrettable things in my life. Most would consider some of my actions unforgivable, despite telling myself I'm doing the right thing. At the end of the day, we are our actions, not our hope. Thanks to my realization, I vowed to return to my original roots as a pacifist and right my wrongs, even in this world.
[Even when he's in an entirely different world, where no one knows of his reputation and hasn't done any wrongs, it doesn't mean he should stop trying to do good deeds. He's returned to his old roots. Or, he feels he's on the right path to it at least.]
Better late than never, right? That's a human saying, I think. And... I believe there will come a time where you won't feel too bad accepting your human mindset. Whether gods, humans, or mechanoids, we all have the capacity to grow.
[It feels nice, like some weigh has lifted off his shoulders. Perhaps there is some merit to talking about his feelings rather than bottling them all up. Of course, there's still some topics he isn't willing to broach on yet, mainly about his powers, which is another can of worm, but it has no relevance in this current topic.]
what a kind and sweet sister she got!
Well... I tried killing all humans once. [A pause.] Goetia - an Evil of Humanity - was trying to incinerate humanity across space and time. In the past, future and present all at once.
[ That's the super summarized version, she'll spare him the Fate/ details. ]
My reasoning was that if I killed them first and kept their souls in the Underworld, then I would be able to preserve humanity...
[ Not the best plan. She'll skip over the fact that she was by all account very bad at killing humans and had the lowest kill count out of the three goddesses, in spite of trying the hardest. I-It's a point of pride not to mention this! ]
So don't be too harsh on yourself, okay?
;3
Regardless, they both have committed a grave sin. Though he thinks his kill count is probably higher than hers, on account of the war having spread out across the galaxy, dragging unwitting worlds into their conflict. Ultimately, he sees he's not alone in having a regrettable past.]
I'll... try not to.
[A pause, as his gaze falls to the floor. It's a bit embarrassing to do this, but he steps closer to her side and puts his arms around her for a nice side hug, initiating imprinting, as a show of appreciation. And the side hug is mostly because he doesn't want to sandwich lil Bruiser between them.]
Thank you.
1/2
She's taken aback for a couple seconds or so! This goddess is a hug monster in denial who would love hugs very much if only she didn't deny herself hugging her friends... A-And that's exactly why this comes off as such a shock! She figured Soundwave would have an even harder time than her to go and hug people like that! She did hug him once or twice after all, and both times he was so surprised!
W-What should she do?! ]
Re: ;3
Oh well! It's time to indulge ever so slightly into her hug monster side. And so she hugs him back, turning the side hug into a full blown hug. But fear not for the little doggo, she is careful to put him safely down on the couch so that he doesn't get hurt. ]
Ehehe, no need to thank me!
[ Is she sparkling? She is sparkling. So she is probably pretty happy. ]
no subject
Which he'll admit to.... After a good long moment of hugging, of course. He breaks the embrace, though keeping his hands on her arms, trying to maintain his usual stoic expression despite the red on his face.]
I am not... Used to giving hugs. More used to petting my friend's head. [He shrugs.] But I suppose that might be odd if I had done that to you instead.
no subject
Petting your friend's head...? [That sounds like something you do to, well, a pet! A lover, perhaps. But not a friend. Though in this world, they do many weird thing.] I'm not used to it either honestly... But I'm slowly getting there!
[ She'll be the greatest hug monster to have ever hugged in due time! ]
no subject
Ah, my friends have animal bodies as their main mode rather than a humanoid body like mine. And I am much larger than they are. [In some cases, hugs are a little less convenient than head pats!] They are still people, though.
[A point he likes to emphasize whenever the topic comes up.]
Not used to it? You could've fooled me. From the times you hugged me before, I figured you already are a big hugger.
no subject
I see... I suppose that would make sense then. [A nod.] That's like with Dumuzid. Well, he does have a human form, but he goes around as a golden sheep most often.
[ Why does Dumuzid come back so often in their conversations?
Better move away from this sheep! So of course she finds herself blushing a bit as he praises her. She finally lets go of the hug and takes the doggie back on her lap. ]
Heh? W-Well... I guess that's because I've thousand of years of hugs to give back! I-I need to compensate by making my hugs the best ones.
no subject
[It probably makes more sense once she gets to see them in person. Alas, that is impossible to do in this world.]
And I can say for certain all the hugs you've given have been the greatest... Even if you had surprised me with them in the past.
[Though from now on, he'd probably be a little less surprised, unless Ereshkigal randomly does surprise bear hugs. The doggie is happy to be back in the goddess's arms, snuggling up to her, tail wagging. The kitty that has been hiding this whole time has made her reappearance, leaving her hiding spot as she cautiously approaches Ereshkigal. The shy creature sniffs around her ankles for a few seconds before rubbing herself against her leg. It seems she's accepted his friend!
All that aside--]
Again, thank you, Ereshkigal. For listening. And the hug. I feel... better talking about that. [Is this something he'd do often now? Probably not, but the option to confide in a friend is there.] If you have something you wish to talk about but you do not know who to talk to, I will be available to listen to you. I can't promise if I can provide solutions, but I'll listen.
no subject
No, instead she reaches out for the kitty that's rubbing against her leg, trying to pull her closer. ]
Come here, you. [And then to Soundwave.] Ehe, I shall!
[ Though... Not today, probably. ]
But I didn't come to talk about myself today. [She shakes her head.] Besides, I wouldn't know where to begin... [There is so much she could talk about!] No, I'm much happier petting your new pets.
[ Which she is doing! Having two hands is very convenient. ]
no subject
You're right. [He doesn't expect her to dump something on him today, but the offer's there, should she need it in the future.] Ah, but I ended up speaking about myself... When I originally wanted to introduce you to my pets.
[That was why he invited her to his home, after all. The tiny kitty sees Ereshkigal reaching for her and bravely stands on her hind legs in response, tiny paws reaching for her hands, only to clumsily flop over. Meanwhile, Soundwave watches the adorable scene in front of him.]
But I see that Bruiser and Razorclaw have already taken a liking to you.
no subject
[ She's actually quite happy he confided in her. I-It is quite the novel thing! And she likes talking with her friend, even if she's still pretty bad at that whole "being social" thingie.
She looks down at the pet and nod in a most satisfied manner. ]
Fufufu, they recognize a perfect goddess when they see one!
[ That's her, she's the perfect goddess.
... She wishes. ]