[ a conversation that is too complex for someone as simple-minded as denji, yet he was forced into taking such a burden to figure out his feelings about death itself, forced into facing that terror at some point. he knew eresh came from a different universe, with different ideologies and concepts— but she is the closest 'creature' to what the Death Devil is from his world. someone he could have a conversation with. someone who might help him figure it out and somehow prepare him for that confrontation. ]
i don't think people view death as something 'sad'; they fear it. it's terrifying. i died like a thousand times, and i'm still not used to it.
it's humanity's biggest enemy, isn't it? everyone dreams of a world without it. to stay young. to have more time. not to lose a loved one.
i guess i'm just wondering- why do we have to live in fear in order to view life as precious?
You are correct. Death is humanity's biggest enemy. The evil that can never be conquered.
And yet, that fear drives evolution. What we call progress and human civilization, It is built upon your attempts to push back against death.
Look how far you've come. It's beautiful, isn't it? I believe the next step in your evolution, Is to understand that death can never be conquered, And accept that it is a part of life.
Live. Not in fear of death, But alongside it.
[ She's not sure if those words will help... Honestly she'd like to tell him what he's experienced a thousand times over isn't death. It's something horrible, painful beyond imagination - but not death. It is meant to be a painful and gentle thing, not... A nightmare. ]
Gods could never evolve beyond that point. This is why we are reduced to shadows of our former selves. Those from my world... They fought desperately against the coming end of our age. So much so, they allowed fear to overwhelm them. And the choices they made only served to accelerate their own end.
It's ironic, isn't it? Had they but accepted that the end of our age is inevitable, They may have been successful in prolonging it.
[ he knew this wouldn't be an easy conversation, but denji was getting more conflicted as he read into it. it left more questions than answers. it took him a while to reply as if he was trying to tame all the gibberish clutter of anxieties into a more coherent thought. he understood there is a level of mercy in death and maybe even an escape for the tormented souls. even so, it's almost human to fear the unknown. there is no real answer to what happens when that time comes, as some follow the path of religious beliefs and others insist nothing awaits them but utter darkness, and others ... like denji, hope it means the pain will end and he can finally have some peace.
regardless, eresh's words are more ... intimidating than comforting, whether that was her intention or not. there is a clear repetition of the fact death cannot be defeated. it's best to give in to it. live with it. find the beauty in it. appreciate it because it makes your temporary life more meaningful.
he takes it all in, the next question might be an odd one — but he has his reasons. ]
let's say that defeating death itself meant erasing it from everyone's memory. removing it from our world. as if it never existed.
do you think a human who lost his loved ones would be better if he didn't remember them? they won't be hurting anymore, right? they won't cry over them again. maybe they can be happy now ...
What?? That's just wrong. If you did that... I find such an idea revolting. I would oppose it with my all.
[ She... She would rather see humanity end than for them to become such a sad thing.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Ah. So that's what Tezcatlipoca foresaw. That's the ending for humanity he sought to prevent, isn't it? Not exactly what Denji proposes here, but... That's the piece of the puzzle she'd been missing.
"What would make a god of the human order turn against it?"
She'd had a hard time envisioning what it could possibly be, until that suggestion caused such a visceral reaction in her. So that's the reason for the Lostbelts. The bleaching. Everything. There is a bit of a delay as Ereshkigal deals with that revelation about what's going on in her own world. ]
Denji.
If you remove sorrow, How do you define happiness? How do you feel happiness?
If you remove sorrow, You also remove happiness, You will be neither happy nor sad.
You will just "be."
If you take death away from humanity, How do you define life? How do you define humanity?
A species that is so strongly defined by life and death. You would be ending that species. Humans would become something else. Something... Pitiable.
If there is no death, There is no life. You would simply "exist."
[ death is part of life. without it, sorrow would not exist, but neither would joy. to know happiness, one must understand loss. to love, one must accept the pain of goodbye. and on top of it all, he'd be stripping away what makes humans — well, human. in an eerie way, denji didn't care about the loss of humanity, not out of resentment, it's the lack of empathy. the people he cares about are all here, and none of them will follow him back home— in a fucked up way, denji justified what he had already decided to do. he's losing nothing. nothing at all. however, a simple line got to him.
"You will just "be."
his breathing grew shallow as he read on. the words blurred. he blinked hard, willing himself to stay composed. but the lump in his throat thickened, and his chest burned with an ache too deep to name. a slow breath shuddered past his lips. ] ... but death keeps taking away everyone that i loved. every single one of them.
i wish i could list out any other justification. i wish i can sound smart and make sense of how life can be much better without death. but the truth is ... i know you're right! who the fuck wants to live forever while feeling nothing? that's hell in itself.
i just don't know why i'm -
[ - thinking about doing it, anyway. just because a pretty face promised him some shallow affection, and he's that fucking desperate to feel anything but that agonizing, persisting pain. he's willing to give humanity the biggest middle finger for a brief cheap thrill? or - because they finally broke him. stripped away any ounce of joy he managed to find in his miserable existence, slowly but surely desensitizing him, blurring his vision from what is right and wrong.
ugh, he feels like shit. utter shit. ] ... no. you're right. sorry, you're right ...
Please don't be sorry. You're human, you're hurting. You're trying to make sense of it all. It's normal.
[ If anything she feels like she's been too harsh. The suggestion got to her too much, she replied without thinking about wording her advice more diplomatically. ]
There is nothing more human than to fight against death. You have a big decision that awaits you back home, right? And you are conflicted.
Ultimately, whether death is a necessary evil or not is irrelevant. If you are desperate and hurting, when the moment comes... Words told to you by a goddess from another world will be meaningless.
What matters are your own feelings.
As millennia of loneliness and suffering eroded my heart, I became a cold and cruel goddess. But meeting humans changed me.
Your world may not afford you time with your loved ones... But this one gives you time. Perhaps it is a chance. For you to allow others to reach your heart and heal it.
[ if she had doubts about being too cruel with her honesty, even for one second, she shouldn't. denji has a long, ongoing history of dealing with all kinds of abuse and evil, and even when she was firm in rejecting the idea of a world without death, eresh was still thoughtful in her approach. it was an uncomfortable conversation (maybe for both of them), which is expected, and denji will spend a lot of time reflecting on it. the last words were simple but sharp, woven together with a gentleness that unsettled him.
he could say a lot, but he'd be pushing for too much. his insecurities are not her burden. ]
... thank you. really. i know that was a weird question. i was worried you'd take it as a personal attack. but, out of everyone here, i figured you'd give me a real answer. maybe others would think a world without death is a paradise and not give me much to think about, you know? so, thanks.
aside from katsuki yelling at your ears, i assume you're happy here? you met some kind people, right?
I'm glad you asked me. Don't hesitate if you ever have any other thoughts you need to share, alright?
[ She doesn't feel like she's said much that can be of help, really. She just hopes he'll find the right answer in such a way that he'll be at peace. ]
I I very much am, yes. It is very lonely in the Underworld, Having so many people around everyday... It is wonderful.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
i don't think people view death as something 'sad'; they fear it. it's terrifying. i died like a thousand times, and i'm still not used to it.
it's humanity's biggest enemy, isn't it? everyone dreams of a world without it.
to stay young. to have more time. not to lose a loved one.
i guess i'm just wondering-
why do we have to live in fear in order to view life as precious?
no subject
Death is humanity's biggest enemy.
The evil that can never be conquered.
And yet, that fear drives evolution.
What we call progress and human civilization,
It is built upon your attempts to push back against death.
Look how far you've come.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
I believe the next step in your evolution,
Is to understand that death can never be conquered,
And accept that it is a part of life.
Live.
Not in fear of death,
But alongside it.
[ She's not sure if those words will help... Honestly she'd like to tell him what he's experienced a thousand times over isn't death. It's something horrible, painful beyond imagination - but not death. It is meant to be a painful and gentle thing, not... A nightmare. ]
Gods could never evolve beyond that point.
This is why we are reduced to shadows of our former selves.
Those from my world... They fought desperately against the coming end of our age.
So much so, they allowed fear to overwhelm them.
And the choices they made only served to accelerate their own end.
It's ironic, isn't it?
Had they but accepted that the end of our age is inevitable,
They may have been successful in prolonging it.
no subject
regardless, eresh's words are more ... intimidating than comforting, whether that was her intention or not. there is a clear repetition of the fact death cannot be defeated. it's best to give in to it. live with it. find the beauty in it. appreciate it because it makes your temporary life more meaningful.
he takes it all in, the next question might be an odd one — but he has his reasons. ]
let's say that defeating death itself meant erasing it from everyone's memory. removing it from our world. as if it never existed.
do you think a human who lost his loved ones would be better if he didn't remember them?
they won't be hurting anymore, right? they won't cry over them again. maybe they can be happy now ...
no subject
That's just wrong.
If you did that...
I find such an idea revolting.
I would oppose it with my all.
[ She... She would rather see humanity end than for them to become such a sad thing.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Ah. So that's what Tezcatlipoca foresaw. That's the ending for humanity he sought to prevent, isn't it? Not exactly what Denji proposes here, but... That's the piece of the puzzle she'd been missing.
"What would make a god of the human order turn against it?"
She'd had a hard time envisioning what it could possibly be, until that suggestion caused such a visceral reaction in her. So that's the reason for the Lostbelts. The bleaching. Everything. There is a bit of a delay as Ereshkigal deals with that revelation about what's going on in her own world. ]
Denji.
If you remove sorrow,
How do you define happiness?
How do you feel happiness?
If you remove sorrow,
You also remove happiness,
You will be neither happy nor sad.
You will just "be."
If you take death away from humanity,
How do you define life?
How do you define humanity?
A species that is so strongly defined by life and death.
You would be ending that species.
Humans would become something else.
Something... Pitiable.
If there is no death,
There is no life.
You would simply "exist."
no subject
"You will just "be."
his breathing grew shallow as he read on. the words blurred. he blinked hard, willing himself to stay composed. but the lump in his throat thickened, and his chest burned with an ache too deep to name. a slow breath shuddered past his lips. ] ... but death keeps taking away everyone that i loved.
every single one of them.
i wish i could list out any other justification. i wish i can sound smart and make sense of how life can be much better without death. but the truth is ... i know you're right! who the fuck wants to live forever while feeling nothing? that's hell in itself.
i just don't know why i'm -
[ - thinking about doing it, anyway. just because a pretty face promised him some shallow affection, and he's that fucking desperate to feel anything but that agonizing, persisting pain. he's willing to give humanity the biggest middle finger for a brief cheap thrill? or - because they finally broke him. stripped away any ounce of joy he managed to find in his miserable existence, slowly but surely desensitizing him, blurring his vision from what is right and wrong.
ugh, he feels like shit. utter shit. ]
... no.
you're right. sorry, you're right ...
no subject
You're human, you're hurting.
You're trying to make sense of it all.
It's normal.
[ If anything she feels like she's been too harsh. The suggestion got to her too much, she replied without thinking about wording her advice more diplomatically. ]
There is nothing more human than to fight against death.
You have a big decision that awaits you back home, right?
And you are conflicted.
Ultimately, whether death is a necessary evil or not is irrelevant.
If you are desperate and hurting, when the moment comes...
Words told to you by a goddess from another world will be meaningless.
What matters are your own feelings.
As millennia of loneliness and suffering eroded my heart,
I became a cold and cruel goddess.
But meeting humans changed me.
Your world may not afford you time with your loved ones...
But this one gives you time. Perhaps it is a chance.
For you to allow others to reach your heart and heal it.
no subject
he could say a lot, but he'd be pushing for too much. his insecurities are not her burden. ]
... thank you. really.
i know that was a weird question. i was worried you'd take it as a personal attack. but, out of everyone here, i figured you'd give me a real answer. maybe others would think a world without death is a paradise and not give me much to think about, you know? so, thanks.
aside from katsuki yelling at your ears, i assume you're happy here?
you met some kind people, right?
no subject
Don't hesitate if you ever have any other thoughts you need to share, alright?
[ She doesn't feel like she's said much that can be of help, really. She just hopes he'll find the right answer in such a way that he'll be at peace. ]
I
I very much am, yes.
It is very lonely in the Underworld,
Having so many people around everyday...
It is wonderful.